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Still In Love With My Ex Girlfriend - How To Get Her Back

Many men tell me 'I'm still in love with my ex girlfriend.' They want to know if there's anything they can do to get her back. The very first question to ask men who think they want their ex back is to ask what they've already tried.

A man who is serious about getting his ex girlfriend back will usually say he's repeatedly tried to tell her how much he loves her and needs her. He's reassured her that he'll change and the relationship will be different if she gives him a second chance.  This kind of begging and pleading simply shows a woman that you're desperate and often drives them even further away.

Some men will try the opposite tactic to pleading and they'll turn to bribery. Buying her expensive gifts or taking her to fancy restaurants in an attempt to impress her won't work either. She may accept your tokens, but bribery isn't the way to win back love.

The vast majority of women want to be in a relationship with a man who will listen to what she has to say. Even if she's just making small talk, it's important to her that she's heard. This doesn't mean you have to agree with everything she says. You just need to listen.

When asked if they're willing to listen to their ex girlfriends, men who are trying hard to get back their ex often say 'I've tried to listen, but she doesn't listen to a word I say.' Sometimes when men think they're listening, what they're really doing is hearing the problem and then immediately talking back to offer a solution to fix whatever problem his girlfriend is having. He believes because she doesn't hear a word he says that she's not listening.

However, only hearing the parts of the conversation you think you can help her with and then trying to make her listen to you first is not the same as YOU listening to your girlfriend's needs. Women appreciate men who listen to them. Unfortunately, men communicate in slightly different ways, which could probably have been a contributing factor to your break up in the first place.

If you're still thinking 'I'm still in love with my ex-girlfriend and want to get her back', then practice listening. Ask her a question and then listen to what she says intently. Make a comment about her response or ask another question relating to her response, but don't try to fix it or dismiss it as unimportant. Simply listen to her.

Women assume that a man who listens to her really cares. It tells you that you understand and that you're really interested. The next time you receive an opportunity to get together with your ex, take some time to establish eye contact and really listen intently to what she says.

At first, you might find your ex-girlfriend is a little confused or guarded about your sudden change, but when she realizes that you are interested in what she's saying she'll begin to relax and realize that you do care. She'll immediately begin wondering why her feelings for you went away and they should come rushing back when she understands that you really do still love your ex and really do want her back.

For more information, check out "The Magic Of Making Up".

How To Save A Relationship - Take Baby Steps

Well the good news is that if both of you are agreeable, the actual process of how to save a relationship is fairly easy.  If both of you still want to be life partners then you know that you love each other; but for some reason are finding it hard to communicate right now.

Life gets in the way of relationships. There is no two ways around that. Unfortunately we are all guilty of taking our loved ones for granted. We can spend time sorting out our kids problems, our friends problems perhaps even those of our work colleagues only to arrive home in a heap exhausted. We often assume that our partner can read our mind and know that we love and care about them.

But no matter how secure someone is, if they constantly feel or are made feel that they belong at the bottom of a very long list of priorities, they may leave. Feelings of resentment can grow over time and become rather like a snowball - small to start but soon takes on huge proportions.

The first step would be to arrange a night where both of you are free to concentrate 100% on your relationship. Get a sitter for the kids and head out somewhere for the evening. If you pick a public place, you are less likely to let your resentments boil over into an argument.

Agree that both of you want this relationship to work and reassure each other that you are committed to your partnership.  Arrange a series of date nights - these nights are for you two as a couple. You could each write out a list of what you would like to try in the relationship be it a night at the Opera or a particular technique in the bedroom. Then take turns trying to fulfill the other person's wishes.

In addition to the lists of treats you would like, you also should make a list of all that you enjoy about the relationship and then a list of the problem areas as you each see them.

Spending time together away from the hassles of real life will help you to rediscover the magic that brought you together. Sharing the above lists will help you to realize what you have and what you need to work on.

Now it could be easy for one party to become offended at what is written down. You both need to know that this exercise has been done solely to increase the satisfaction level in your relationship not to knock the other person's confidence or blame them for the problems. Try not to become defensive but listen to both the good parts and the bad. Try not to go to bed on an argument as unresolved conflict can cause more resentment. Showing love and appreciation goes a long way believe me.

By encouraging open communication and time for each other you should find that your commitment to each other becomes stronger and your friends will soon be asking you for advice on how to save a relationship. For more information, check out "The Magic Of Making Up".

How To Build Trust In A Relationship

Building trust in a relationship can be very difficult depending on the circumstances. If one partner had an affair, then it may take several years to build trust in a relationship. It can be done and marriages survive affairs but it will take time. The person who had the affair will need to apologize to his/her partner and then be prepared for that person to learn to trust them again.

But trust is something that needs to be built up in every partnership. After all you are going to share your life with this other person so you need to know that they share the same values as you do. If you are trying to build mutual reliance there are several ways of doing this:

1) Make sure your words and actions match. If you say you are going to be home at a certain time, then make sure you are or else phone in advance to explain why. It is the little gestures that define who we are.

2) Always tell the truth no matter how painful. Lies destroy every type of relationship from friendships through to marriage. Telling the truth isn't always the easy option but it is the safest. If your partner knows that you always tell the truth, they will trust you much quicker. If they hear you telling lies to others, even those that you dismiss as being small or white lies, they will have less belief in you.

3)Do not keep secrets when in a relationship. Now I don't mean that you have to tell your new boyfriend or girlfriend your deepest secrets but as soon as the relationship looks like it is becoming serious, it is a good time to make sure that any relevant history is out in the open.

4) You need to have faith in your partner before expecting them to return that trust. If you have to text them morning and night wondering where they are and who they are with, they are likely to think you have something to hide.

5) Don't be unrealistic. All relationships have issues even those that have been happily married for 50 years. You need to accept that being part of a couple means that you take the good times and the bad. If you bolt at the first sign of trouble, your partner is never likely to trust you.

6) Finally rely on yourself to do the right thing. You must first know yourself and trust in your ability to make the right choices before you can trust anyone else. You have to know what your own goals and aspirations are in life before you can share a meaningful existence with someone else. Somebody with a defined sense of values is more likely to trust another person as they will quickly recognize these similar values.

All good relationships are built on a number of factors so learn how to build trust in a relationship now to increase your chance of success. For more information, check out "The Magic Of Making Up".

How A Rebound Relationship Can Work

Are you worried about your new partner and whether they are committed to you? Do you wonder how a rebound relationship can work particularly if there are unresolved feelings left from the previous affair?

Often rebound relationships can be a band aid solution for the pain and hurt inflicted by the previous lover. If the person getting involved in the new relationship was the one to end the old one, I would be less worried. Usually people have been thinking of ending a relationship for ages before the event actually happens. By the time they get to finish it, they may have worked through their feelings and be ready to move on.

This doesn't apply to the person who didn’t instigate the previous breakup and becomes quickly involved in a new relationship. Some people cannot bear to be on their own so will flit from person to person in an effort to avoid dealing with the issues leading to the breakup. They are used to being part of a couple. They have an inherent need for someone to love them and need them and hence they can become deeply emotionally involved very quickly. Ironically this is often the reason for the rebound relationship breaking up as the new partner feels swapped by the level of neediness.

It is worth noting that often someone on the rebound often isn't even aware of what they are doing. They are hurting emotionally and mentally and can crave comfort from another human being. This can mean that they end up in a relationship for the sake of having somebody to hold rather than to be with that person. Their new partner can get very hurt as the realization sets in that they aren’t loved for their individuality as much as the fact they can provide a quick fix solution to a painful situation.

It is always wise to date people who have just come out of a relationship with care. Take things slowly and try to make sure that it is you they are interested in before becoming emotionally involved. Everyone needs time on their own particularly if they come out of a long term partnership.

It is a little like grieving - there is a process that you must go through in order to emerge a stronger person at the end of it. For most people divorce and the breakup of a partnership means the end of a dream even if you were the one to instigate the break up. Everyone will have some feelings of regret if only for not having the fairytale ending.

If you do find yourself involved with someone who you suspect is on the rebound, gently advise them to spend some time on their own working through their emotions. Encourage them to date other people. Keep in contact with them if you are interested in a long term relationship. If you two are destined to be together, it will happen although maybe not right away. This is really the only way to ensure how a rebound relationship can work for you.

For more valuable information, check out "The Magic Of Making Up".

Great Relationship Advice For Men

Men often wonder if they are speaking the same language as women because they can land in hot water very quickly. They look for relationship advice for men in order to avoid these situations but most relationship advice is written by women for other women.

There are some basic rules that men need to understand in order to increase their success rate with women.

The first one is you need to worry when your woman gives you the silent treatment. Most men go silent because they have nothing left to say but when a woman goes silent, it is generally a bit hint that you have upset her. Whilst you may think that silence is golden, women use not talking as a punishment. So if your lady friend has a silent day, think back over your actions and try to determine what you have done to upset her.

Secondly, PMT is not always the reason for a woman being in a bad mood. Sometimes they are upset and hurt over something and it has nothing to do with when their period is due. If you constantly blame PMT, you will probably find yourself searching the lonely hearts columns in the near future.

Women like to talk about their problems but this doesn't mean that they want you to fix everything. Most females are quite capable of looking after themselves and they just want to let off steam. God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason. Just in case, it was so you could listen to what your partner is saying before you jump in with the solution. Do yourself a favor and believe that silence in this instance goes a long way.

When looking for relationship advice for men, they often look in the wrong places. It is not ideal to ask your partners father what her problem is. Firstly he is unlikely to understand her any more than you do but being the apple of his eye, he will wonder what you have done to upset her.

It helps to remember that your female partner and an elephant have something in common - their memory. Your partner will never forget anything so don't be surprised if she has a list a mile long of all the things you did wrong in the last six months.

Try talking to your partner. Tell her often how much you love and appreciate her and cuddle her without always expecting it to lead to sex. Like people of both sexes, women like to be held and appreciated without feeling they have to give you something in return.

Also if you are worried about something speak to your partner. Whilst she may be female, she is not helpless and two heads are often better than one at solving a problem. In addition, if she knows what is bothering you she is less likely to become emotionally distant having decided that you must be having an affair or are planning to leave her.

Life long partnerships take work on both sides but be careful what sources you use as relationship advice for men.

For more valuable information, check out "The Magic Of Making Up".

Tips To Getting Your Ex Back

Getting your ex back dominates the thoughts of many a man and woman.  Perhaps you were the one to finish the relationship thinking that life was passing you by.  Having been in the nightmare that is the singles world, you have decided that your ex was fantastic and now you need to know how to get them back. Or maybe you were the one who was dumped but having had time to pull yourself together you are determined to teach your former partner the error of their ways.

Before you consider how to get your ex back in your life, you should be 100% sure that this is the outcome that you want.  You are going to spend a lot of time and energy achieving this wish but it will be a waste of everyone's time if you are doing it solely for revenge.  This applies to those people that have been dumped so start dreaming of revenge and how it will make them feel better.   One quote that I believe in is revenge is a dish best served cold.  What it means is that you have to let your emotions, primarily your anger, cool off before taking any action.  What I believe the quote is trying to achieve is that by the time you have cooled down, you will forget about your ex and be putting your energies into meeting someone new.

But for those of us who have decided that our ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend was the ONE, here are some tips to try to getting your ex back.

1) Do not appear needy.  Desperation is never an attractive quality.  You will be far more successful in attracting your ex mate if you appear to be living your life to the full.  Don't call or make contact with them. You will have sufficient mutual friends to be able to appear to be in the same location as your ex by accident.

2) Do not stalk your ex - again this is not the way forward. You want them to come back to you not have them report you to the police for stalking. 

3) Always look your best.  Wear their favorite clothes, hairstyle, makeup etc.  Remember all those little details that used to drive them wild and use them to your advantage.

4) Do not try and make your ex jealous by dating someone else.  This is juvenile behavior. There is never an excuse for using another person in this way.

5) Try being direct.  Men and women often have communication issues hence the best selling books such as "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" etc.  So sometimes the best way to getting your ex back is just to tell them how you feel.  Apart from a little pride, what do you have to lose?

If you are certain that getting your ex back in your life will make you happy, you need to pull out all the stops! For more valuable information, check out "The Magic Of Making Up".

How To Win Back Lost Love

If you are determined to win back lost love, then go for it. You only have one life and it is up to you how you live it. If you are sure that this person is the right partner for you, go get him/her today.

Be strong and single-minded in your approach. Now you know what you want, it will be easier to ignore everyone else's advice and well meaning contributions. If this person is your lost love, then trust your own judgment. You know them better than anyone else so you should be able to work out how best to get them to return to you.

Be sure of your motives in particular that you are not trying to rekindle lost love because you are afraid of being on your own. Being single can be fun, it just takes a little getting used to. It is hard to be objective when emotions are involved so it is always a good idea to write down a list of all the reasons why you want this person back. Also write down a list of why the relationship failed. Obviously you would expect the first list to be the long one! 

Sometimes people break up and it is the wrong decision. We can all take our lives for granted and as we get older we sometimes wonder if we have missed out. These feelings can cause people to do silly things like walking out on their relationship. If being apart has shown you the error of your ways, then make contact with them and ask to meet up.

If you hurt your ex, you must be prepared to take things very slowly and at their pace. They are unlikely to fall in your arms declaring undying love if you have hurt them badly. If they do, you must still proceed with caution as any lingering problems need to be resolved.

Be aware that no matter how much you miss the other person, there was a reason why you broke up and that needs to be dealt with to prevent it causing fresh problems. There are some things that just cannot be overcome no matter how much we love the other person. The idea that love conquers everything belongs in Hollywood not in real life. 

If, for example, you broke up because your partner wants children and you don't then it is unfair to get back together unless you have changed your mind.  Denying another person the chance of having children causes the type of pressure that very few if any relationships can survive.  The resentment will probably kill the love you shared. 

If you have issues that can be resolved with some mutual work, then go for it.  Life is too short to waste time in regrets. Sometimes it is not always the easy way forward to try to win back lost love but often it is the best step you could ever take.

For more valuable information on how to win back a lost love, check out "The Magic Of Making Up".

What To Do When Your Ex Has Just Broken Up With You

We all panic when we break up and when your ex has just broken up with you, you are likely to feel hurt, angry and perhaps a little bewildered.

So what can you do?  It really depends on whether you want this man or not.  If you don't want him in your life, allow yourself to grieve for the relationship and then look forward to having fun being single.  Don't waste time trying to get revenge on this man as you will only end up hurting yourself.

But if you really want this man in your life and perhaps feel your behavior has contributed to the break up, there are a couple of things you can do.

Your first one is to let him know how you feel. Write him a letter, apologizing for any bad behavior and reminding him of the good times you shared together.  Don't be afraid to tell him how much he means to you and how much you miss him.

Assuming you get a positive response to your letter, agree to meet him but do so in a public place. This will help prevent your discussions turning into a huge argument. You will need to be prepared to tell your man how you feel. Don't hide your feelings. If you are angry tell him why but try not to turn the meeting into a blame fest.

This will not help you in convincing him that you are good together. Keep the conversation to facts and also use the word I and not you. For example you should say "I feel let down" rather than "you let me down". This is a lot less confrontational and less likely to cause offense or lead to another argument.

Allow him to criticize you as well.  It is best if this is done in a constructive way.  We all have our faults and some of your less attractive character traits may be, in part, to blame for why he broke up with you.

It is very important that you listen to what he says. Don't assume you know what he is trying to say. Encourage him to say what is on his mind as this is the opportunity for you both to work through any issues in your relationship and come out of this a stronger couple. He may have made the decision to break up, but your behavior probably contributed to his decision.

Do not play games and don't feel that you have to hold something back in order to make him come back to you. This will only cause feelings of resentment which may lead to you splitting up again. Don't look on a breakup as a negative. All couples go through good and bad patches.  It is a normal feature of adult relationships.

Follow these tips and one day as a happy couple, you may actually be thankful that for the day you found out that your ex has just broken up with you.

For more valuable information on what to do when your ex has just broken up with you, check out "The Magic Of Making Up".

How To Get A Guy Back After A Breakup

Are you sure that you want to get your guy back after a breakup? It can be hard to know exactly how you feel in the days following the breakdown of your relationship. Feelings of loneliness and wounded pride can be confused with real love. It is always a good idea to try and analyze your relationship and why it failed. If the reason is that long term you are not compatible then do yourself a favor and move onto the next guy. You and your ex deserve to be happy but this does not necessarily mean that will be as a couple.

But if you are genuinely pining for him try these tips:

1) Never stalk a guy to get back with him. He won't find it flattering but will think you have lost your mental capacity. You need to project a confident image even if your insides resemble melting ice-cream.

2) Always look your best whenever you go out. As Helena Rubenstein once said, there is no such thing as an ugly woman, only lazy ones. Now is not the time to let yourself go. Get your hair done, always wear make up and wear the clothes that show off your body in the best light. Don't change your image. He fell for you the way you are so now is not the time to change.

3) Try to determine why you were dumped. Did you behave badly? If you did, then you need to apologize and do this properly. Men have feelings too although they usually manage to hide them better than women.

4) Did you play too many games? I don't know what it is about us women but for some reason we sometimes treat relationships as if they were a game of Chess. If I do this, he will do that approach doesn’t work in most cases and men, like all human beings, do not like being played. Honesty is always the best policy. If you have been playing games as you were trying to see if your feelings were returned, then just ask him out straight. Most men like the direct approach - they are not very good at reading signs and subtle hints.

If you do get back together, make sure that you have sorted out the problems that caused the break up in the first place. Failure to do so just means that you are postponing your heartache. If you are looking to spend your life with this guy you need to be sure that you are compatible in all areas. While sexual attraction is fantastic and in my view a necessary part of every good relationship it isn’t the only thing that matters. Mutual respect, appreciation and shared values go a long way to avoiding having to deal once again with the question of how to get a guy back after a break up.

For more information on how to get a guy back after a breakup, check out "The Magic Of Making Up".

Does My Ex Want To Get Back With Me?

Do you care?  Asking yourself the question does my ex want to get back with me is the wrong way forward.  The real question is do you want your ex back?  If the answer to that is yes, then you can start worrying about what your previous partner wants. 

A lot of people never understand why their relationship ended.  I find it amazing that many people going through a divorce are unable to explain why they are ending their marriage, especially when there are children involved. 

It takes two to break up a relationship despite the fact that it is very easy to blame the other person. Even when someone else has an affair, it isn't always 100% their fault. Don't get me wrong, I am not condoning anyone being unfaithful but sometimes people are pushed into things.  If you take your man or woman for granted and forget to pay them any attention, they may end up looking somewhere else.  Some people will have affairs just because they can get away with it.  These people do not belong in a monogamous relationship.  But sometimes, a relationship is worth saving and the affair, whilst hurtful, can eventually strengthen the bonds between the couple.

Examining why a couple broke up will help both parties understand the issues in their relationship.  It will highlight those areas that require work.  All partnerships involve work and commitment.  Men and women often appear to live on different planets never mind speak other languages.  My husband once said to my Dad that he didn’t understand me.  My dads’ reply: that is where you are going wrong son you Never try to understand a woman!

Whilst it is the sexual attraction that initially attracts men and women, it is their compatibility that will keep them together long after the sexual flame resembles a candle as opposed to a flame thrower.  So before you start wondering how your ex partner is feeling, you need to be certain of your own wants and desires. Are you sure that this person is right for you?  Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with them?  Do you want the same things out of life i.e. kids, traveling, similar standard of living etc?   Do you share the same ideals and views about how to live your life?

It is very important to first establish if you would like to try again.   Knowing what you want will help you to work out what your ex wants.   Despite what Hollywood and other entertainment providers would have you believe, men want stable happy relationships just as much as women.   Generally the male is not as good as vocalizing what he wants and can finish a relationship rather than have to deal with a bad patch. 

So instead of wasting time trying to answer does my ex want to get back with me, why not invite him round for coffee and see what happens.

For more information on this topic, check out "The Magic Of Making Up".

Are You Sure You Want Your Ex Back?

So the relationship is over but now you have decided that you want your ex back. Are your sure it is your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend you are missing and not just having someone special in your life? This is especially important if you were the one who decided to break up.

Most relationships go through a bad patch at some point. Some of the best marriages have survived problems that would have torn apart less sturdy partnerships. Relationships are all about give and take. That doesn't mean that one person gives and the other takes! Men and women are very different and we need to learn to live with one another.

Deciding you want to share your life with someone is a big commitment. The sexual attraction between a couple, especially in the early stages, can often cloud their judgment and it is surprising how many people enter into long term relationships without having agreed the basics. Little things like where you want to live and whether you want to have children are often forgotten in the excitement of being together.

Men and women fall out for all sorts of reasons. At times of financial and family stress, we often pick on those nearest to us. When you care for another person and know them intimately you have the power to really hurt that person. If we ourselves are hurting, we often turn that hurt and anger onto the other person.

It is important to understand why you broke up in the first place. If you ended the relationship because one of you wanted children and the other didn't, then you will find that this probably hasn't changed. You may get back together but in the long run will split up again if this issue is not resolved. Forcing someone into a huge life commitment like having a child against their will does not usually result in a long term happy relationship. If you have very different viewpoints on these life issues, you should stay apart and find someone more compatible to fall in love with.

If, on the other hand, you split up because of jealousy or some other petty incident then your relationship may be worth saving. If you really miss your previous partner and know that you want to share your life with them, then you must do everything in your power to get back with your ex.

Contact your partner and let him/her know that you would like to meet up to discuss the future. Do not get involved in a dissection of what went wrong before. It is too easy to put the blame on the other person. Instead agree that there were problems but that you would like to rekindle the relationship. If you want your ex back and your relationship was serious then you might want to suggest counseling. It is often helpful to have an impartial person listen to your discussions. You are less likely to lose your temper, storm out and find yourself suddenly single again.

For more information on accomplishing this goal, check out "The Magic Of Making Up".

How To Go Get An Ex Back The Right Way

How to go get an ex back is a fairly common question but one that should be relatively easy to answer. If you were to blame for the breakup then you should apologize. We should always treat others as we would like to be treated but sometimes we can treat our neighbors better than our partners.  Having someone special in our lives can mean that we take them for granted and expect them to put up with our black moods, PMS or other human failings.

So say you are sorry and mean it.  Don't just say it to get your ex back but mean it regardless of what the future holds for you. Arrange a meeting with your ex to discuss what went wrong and see if you do have a future together.  You should agree some basic ground rules or else you run the risk of it turning into a blame fest.

The first rule is that both of you should be there because you want to be not because you are being emotionally blackmailed. This is particularly true if you have kids together as one partner can often put pressure on the other to stay together for the sake of the children.  Believe me, most kids would prefer to have two different families than to witness two people tearing each other apart.

The second rule should be that you are not getting together to have an argument - if either party gets abusive then the meeting is over.  You are there to have a discussion about your relationship and see if you would both like to take it forward. It may be helpful to set a time limit for each person to talk about how they are feeling.  When they are talking the other person should be listening.

This is a time for you both to express what you like about each other and what parts of your life together could do with a little work.  Perhaps you never get to spend time alone together so an idea may be that you have a date night once a week or a fortnight.  This is a night where it is just the two of you and all talk of kids, mortgage, debts etc is banned.  This would be your time as a couple to try to relight the forces of attraction that brought you together in the first place.

You will probably find that both of you are finding the same issues difficult.  You both probably miss spending quality time together and you may both be under financial and emotional pressure. Sometimes life gets in the way and we often expect our partners to become mind readers and be able to see a problem without us saying anything.  We don’t tend to make time in our lives to really talk to our spouse.  It is never too late to start.

Now when you are asked how to go get an ex back, you will be able to say that communication and quality time together are the keys to lifelong happiness.

For more information on accomplishing this goal, check out "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know what, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

Should I Get Back Together With My Ex Boyfriend

If you read any agony aunt columns you will often see a letter titled "should I get back together with my ex boyfriend".  The answer is always; "It depends!".

It depends on your age, how long you were together, why you broke up and ultimately what both of you want.

What does age have to do with it?  Some people met their first love in their early teens and become convinced that this is the only person in the world that matters. For some it works out really well and years later they are celebrating their Golden Jubilee.  But for most of us, our passionate youthful infatuations are not real love and we go on to meet our true soul mates. So if you are very young and have just split up with your first boyfriend, you should probably try dating some other boys first to see whether Mr Ex is in fact Mr Right as opposed to Mr Right now. If you have dated a load of men and this man is your ideal mate, then you should make every effort to get back together with him.

How long you were together will also play a part in whether you should make up or not.  A couple who have been together a couple of weeks do not know each other that well despite what they may think.  The sexual attraction between couples in the early stages of a romance can often blind you to the fact that your partner is not a candidate for a lifelong happy relationship.  Emotions run very high in the early days and you could find yourself splitting up on a weekly basis.  If this is the case, it is often a sign that there is no future for you at this point in time.

If you have been together for years, you may have split up because you have taken each other for granted.  Couples drift apart as life gets in the way. You often find that you spend more quality time with your neighbors and friends than you do with your significant other.  Illness, stress and financial worries can also play a part. If you have been together forever and have suddenly split up, then you should make every effort to sit down and discuss your relationship to see is it worth saving.  Sometimes, sadly it isn't but at least you will know that you have made every effort.

Why you broke up will partly determine whether you should get back together or not.  If you and you ex boyfriend have split because of a silly misunderstanding then you should try getting back together.  It is pointless letting your pride stop you from saying sorry if you acted childishly.  If on the other hand you have split up due to lies, deceit, fraud or an affair, the decision to get back together is a lot more difficult.

Ultimately it depends on what both of you want. You cannot force someone else to love you even if you do resort to emotional blackmail.  Saying I want to get back together with my ex boyfriend is easily achievable if he also wants this to happen.

For more information on accomplishing this goal, check out "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know what, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

How Do I Get Back Together With My Ex Girlfriend?

This is the question my husband’s brother asked me the other day. Why did you break up was my response when really what I wanted to ask was how could you be such a donut to dump her?

He looked a bit sheepish and told me that he had met this girl at work and she smiled at him. Seemingly she is young, very pretty and looks rather like she belongs in Baywatch. So he, being a he-man type, decided that he had to dump his lovely girlfriend to date this beach babe. Needless to say, he soon found out that she had been smiling at his mate and looked on him like he was something on her shoe.

Well he deserved that but I believe he had ditched his girlfriend for a less obvious reason. He loves her and was scared of making a commitment to her. He had started thinking about settling down and having kids and nobody had made him feel this way before. But he was worried that being a career girl, this was not the future she had planned.

Unfortunately he is not very good at expressing his feelings so decided that it was better to finish the relationship rather than try to find out if his partner shared his vision of the future. D'oh!

Honestly, how can someone so intelligent on a professional level be so emotionally backward. Anyhow his ex partner is a lovely lady who, God love her, adores him so I knew that getting back with his ex girlfriend was possible. It was also a great idea as despite his obvious faults, they make a great couple and he does love her.

So I told him to write her a letter. He decided an email would do but I insisted it had to be a letter. A hand written letter is such an old fashioned way of courting someone that it almost always guarantees a positive response. So off he went to buy some paper and a pen and as I thought complete the task at hand.

And then he was back. “But what do I write?”  He asked. Seriously he would have let me write the whole thing for him. So I told him to tell her how he felt. An MBA from Harvard and he is looking at me like I advised him to pull out his finger nails. I said “Tell her you love her and that you are very sorry for the way you behaved and that you would like to take her out this Friday to her favorite restaurant”.

Believe me that this approach works much better than a text, a bunch of roses and a takeaway. Thankfully his partner knows him well and saw the funny side, and my brother in law is no longer asking "how to get back together with my ex-girlfriend".

His new question is what to say to his future father in law when he pops the question but I will leave my hubby to deal with that one!

For more information on accomplishing this goal, check out "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know what, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

How To Keep A Woman Happy

So you want to know how to keep a woman happy?  It is not easy to do but once you master it, you will win the heart of your woman forever.  So it is worth a try right?

A Woman sometimes just needs to talk.  Men are programmed to find solutions to every problem but sometimes we just want you to listen to us.  We don't want you to look after us or solve every issue we raise but just to listen.

Yes I know she can spend two hours on the phone to a friend that she is meeting that afternoon anyway.  It goes back to the days of cavemen. Whilst the men were out hunting, the women were at home where their ability to bond with others was directly proportionate to their chances of survival. They depended on the other women to look after them and their families should they fall sick. Childbirth in those days often resulted in a death sentence for these women. 

Women like to go to the toilets in twos and threes.  It is just a girl thing and the sooner you come to accept it the better.  Don't get paranoid, we are not going to discuss you in detail - that will happen tomorrow.

Buy your lady flowers. But rather than buying her a bunch of roses, send her one of her favorite flowers every so often. This way she will know that you are thinking of her rather than just making a grand gesture.

Little things mean a lot to most women.  So regardless of the fact that you are working 60 plus hours per week to pay your mortgage or put the kids through school, always find time to ring her at least twice a day. Ring to say that you miss her and then ring her back later on to tell her what time you expect to be home.

Say thank you when she does something ordinary.  Everyone including women like to be appreciated so if you come home and it is obvious she has cleaned the bathroom, notice it and make an effort to keep it clean.  That means helping your towel to find its way off the bathroom floor.

If your woman has had a hard day at the office, run her a hot bath and hand her a glass of chilled wine whilst you put the kids to bed and prepare dinner.   Don’t ruin it by expecting sexual favors in return.  In a recent survey, when women were asked what would make them happy, one of the most common answers was to be kissed without being groped!

Surprise her with a note under her pillow telling her how much you love her or appreciate her.  Okay she will probably assume you have done something wrong and wonder if you are feeling guilty but underneath she will be pleased.

Making a woman happy involves doing the little things in life just that little bit more.

For more information on accomplishing this goal, check out "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know what, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

Get Back At Your Ex. Why Would You Bother?

A lot of people, women in particular it has to be said, appear to spend hours thinking of ways to answer the question of how to get back at your ex?  My view on this is why bother?  The only person you will end up hurting is yourself.  Anger and regret are negative emotions and do not have any long term value to add to your life.

Couples split up for all sorts of reasons but I firmly believe that it takes two to tango.  Yes, he may have had an affair or she may have a drink problem but at the end of the day it is usually too simple to lay the blame for the break up at one person's feet.

But when a relationship ends it should be final unless both of you decide that you wish to get back together.  Otherwise, move on. Don't waste your time or energy trying to think of ways to destroy his life or pick fights with her new man.

Every man or woman over the age of 21 has been dumped at some point in their lives.  If they say they haven’t, they are probably lying.  Breaking up can be extremely painful - you only have to see how many films and songs are written on the subject.  Even classic books involve painful relationships - have you read Jane Eyre lately?

Relationships of all types make the world go round and it would be a very boring place if we were happy all of the time.  Stories such as Cinderella and sleeping Beauty end when the couple kiss and we all believe they will live happily ever after.  Cinders and Beauty have found their Mr Right, but what they don't know is that his first name is always!

Life is too short to live it out with a grudge against someone else.  The only person that will suffer will be you and those that love you.  Your ex will be long gone - do you really think that they give you more than a fleeting thought.  They didn't care enough about you to stay together so why would they care now?

There are plenty of lovely people for you to date and perhaps fall in love with. But you will never find a fulfilling new relationship if your life is consumed by hatred for someone else.  Being on your own for the first time in a long time can be tough but it can also be liberating. Think positively - you now have the chance to do all the things you wanted to do but your partner wasn’t interested in.

Make a list of twenty things you have to be thankful for and read this every night before you fall asleep.  Add five things to your list every day and you will soon find yourself enjoying life so much that you won’t have time to worry about how to get back at your ex. It will be more like ex who?

Win Your Love Back: The Example Of Katie And Brad

You can win your love back. Let me give you an example.

Katie made a major mistake. She saw Brad talking to her best friend Andrea and thought he was flirting with her. Katie worked herself into a fury and broke up with Brad.

It turns out that he was really consulting Andrea on how to put together a surprise romantic Valentine’s date. He was really hurt that Katie would think so little of him and didn’t want to have to do anything to do with her after that.

You may think that you can not win your love back after such a situation. But let me tell you what Katie did to get Brad back.

Brad wasn’t talking to her, so she couldn’t discuss the situation with him. But she could write him a letter. She got some nice paper and hand wrote an apology. She admitted that she had flown off the handle. She also told him what she liked about him and about the relationship. Finally, she expressed gratitude for his thoughtfulness in planning a romantic date.

Then, she shut up. She didn’t call, text or email him for a week. By not pestering him, she gave him time to work through his emotions.

After a week, she sent him a short and sweet “thinking of you” email. She kept it casual.

Brad was obviously nuts about Katie because he was willing to go to the trouble of impressing her on Valentine’s day. But, he was also hurt. Because Katie had apologized and given him time to work through his emotions, he was able to respond to the “thinking of you” email.

The night he got the email, he called Katie. She tried to keep things light and fun. Brad appreciated that. So, he suggested they meet for coffee and Katie agreed.

Katie went out of her way to look like a million bucks. She wore the earrings Brad had given her for Christmas and she put on the perfume that he liked so much.

Katie decided that she would only talk about positive things. She especially tried to bring fond memories into the conversation. She also asked about his family because that would reinforce their shared history and closeness.

Brad appreciated this. He loved Katie and didn’t want things to end. But, he didn’t want a repeat of the situation either. He needed to be reassured that their life together wouldn’t be filled with needless drama. He also needed to know that talking to another woman wouldn’t set off fireworks.

The couple agreed that they would take the relationship to a less intense level. They would really court each other again. They would stop taking each other for granted.

A year later, Brad and Katie agree that the break up may have actually saved their relationship over the long haul. While Katie initially flew off the handle, her calm handling of the situation afterward made it possible for them to move on. She showed you can win your love back.

For more information, check out "The Magic Of Making Up".

Please Help Me Get My Ex Girlfriend Back

How many times do men ask their friends 'how do I get my ex girlfriend back'? Honestly, I thought it was a woman's prerogative to change her mind. Some men just don't know when they are onto a good thing and their reasons for ending relationships border on the ridiculous.

My male friends have broken up with girls for:

1) wearing the wrong type of shoes!

2) Her mother

3) The new barmaid at his favorite bar smiled at him.

Now ok I know that a pretty face can turn any man's head and there is the dreaded notion that a woman may turn into her mother but come on guys - the wrong type of shoes? If women didn't date men because of the clothes they were wearing the human race would have died out long ago. Behind every well dressed man is a good woman- in early life his mother and later his wife!

I always tell my men friends that they need to make a list before they break up with their partners. On one side of the list, you put her good points. Do you find her interesting? Does she look after you? Does she cook for you? Does she laugh at your jokes? Are you attracted to her?

On the other side of the list, they can put the things that wind them up. Ok she may nag at little too much but then if you put the toilet seat down she might stop. She may not want more than a cuddle every evening but five times a week doesn't mean that she isn't caring enough.

Writing the good and bad points of your life together down on paper may seem like a cold approach but it is a very practical way of seeing what a great relationship you do/did have. You need to compare the two lists and decide if you should be breaking up with this woman. If you are doing it after the event, it also helps to clarify if you made the right decision to finish the relationship. Sometimes we regret breaking up as we end up feeling lonely. But loneliness is not a reason to get back together.

If you have dumped the lady in your life but now know it was the wrong decision you need to act fast. Great life partners do not grow on trees. She has shown that she will put up with you in all your glory - how many women would be mad enough to do that?

Take a page out Richard Gere's book and put some romance back into her life. Send her flowers - not a bunch of red roses but some of her favorites. Send her a handwritten letter telling her how much you love her and miss her. Book her favorite restaurant and treat her to a night out. In short, you need to treat her just like the princess you believe her to be and assuming you are not a complete disgrace, you won't have ask how to get my ex girlfriend back.

For more information on accomplishing this goal, check out "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know what, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

Need Some Tips On Making Up With My Boyfriend

When making up with my boyfriend I tried to remember these tips that my older and wiser friend had given me.

Myself and my ex got back together so I hope they work for you too.

1) Men don't like chit chat: Generally speaking men don’t like to talk in depth about their feelings and forcing the issue will just cause them to clam up even more. So when you are trying to get back together, don’t force him to analyze what went wrong. If he behaved badly but is willing to apologize, accept it and move on.

2) Men can only concentrate on one thing at a time. This is really true so don’t try and fight it. Very few men can multitask and it is their genetics that are to blame so shouting at him is pointless. The sooner you accept that your man cannot listen to you while reading his newspaper or watching TV the better. Most of the time, he is not ignoring you on purpose. The more you try to understand that this is the way he is programmed the less arguments you will have.

3) Men like toys. The joke is that men never grow up and show it by still playing with toys. Most men love to build things and start DIY jobs. Not all of them like to finish these jobs which can cause problems at home. Let your man indulge his hobbies, within reason. You can spend time with your girlfriends while he is fishing or building a boat. By compromising like this, he will probably be much more willing to spend time with you doing things together that you both enjoy.

4) Don’t assume that your man knows that you want to make up with him. Men in general tend to be a bit slow in picking up signals especially about relationships. For this reason, you sometimes need to be very direct and tell them exactly how you feel. Men don't like games unless they understand the rules like in Golf or Chess. Us women change the rules on dating more often than men change their shirts so we need to give them a break if they get a little confused.

5) Have you heard the joke - "Why does it take loads of sperm to fertilize one egg? Because they refuse to stop for directions!" I know the men in my life would prefer to get lost, than admit defeat and stop to ask for directions. Generally men find it very hard to admit they are wrong. If you question what they say, they can believe you are implying they have done something wrong. This can cause problems in modern relationships as women are so used to being the boss at work and giving others directions.

I am not suggesting that women have to become door mats or defer to their partners. But a little understanding of genetics goes a long way to help resolve the question of making up with my boyfriend.

For more information on accomplishing this goal, check out "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know what, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

Win Your Ex Boyfriend Back In 7 Easy Steps

Has your guy just dumped you? It really hurts doesn’t it? Well, here’s how to win ex boyfriend back in 7 easy steps.

1. Do you really want him back? Okay, this may seem like an odd step to go through, but it is really important. Your boyfriend may seem indispensable, but you will be able to move on without him. If he’s someone worth keeping, read on. But if he’s just “any old guy” don’t hang on for the sake of hanging on. As the old saying goes, “there are other fish in the sea.”

2. Think about why you broke up. Think carefully about what he said when he dumped you. Also think back to the things he said to you in the days right before you broke up. He may have indicated that you were too clingy or that you had let yourself go. If he wants you to change, you have to decide whether you want to be the girlfriend he wants to have.

3. Don’t bug him. Sometimes, girls think that they should call or text their ex a bunch of times hoping that showing how much they love their guy will get him back. Instead, you should give him some space. This will let both of you evaluate the relationship. If you are in school together, you don’t need to go out of your way to avoid him, but don’t chase him down either.

4. Don’t manipulate him. You may be tempted to flirt with his friends, for instance, in an attempt to make him jealous. More likely, it will just make him annoyed and put him off you. He may even think you are acting slutty. So, stay away from doing manipulative actions.

5. Play hard to get. Don’t let him think that he can wiggle his little finger and you will come rushing to his side. Let him squirm a little bit. Remember guys like the chase.

6. Don’t send friends as emissaries. It’s common for girls to send their girlfriends to “feel out” your ex. But this just annoys guys. If you are going to communicate something to him, do it yourself. Don’t put him in the awkward position of having to explain his feelings to your friends.

7. Don’t get worried about a new girlfriend. It’s probably just a rebound relationship. It is not uncommon for a guy to hook up with a new girl right after he has broken up with you. But these rebound relationships rarely last. It is very possible that he will come back to you after he has some time to work things out. In the meantime, become everything he wants in a girl. Get gorgeous. Be friendly. Be happy. These things will pry him away from the good time girl and back into your arms.

Many girls don’t know how to win ex boyfriend back. They do it all wrong and end up pushing him away instead. When you follow the seven steps in this article, you will be able to come out a winner in the game of love.

For more information on accomplishing this goal, check out "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know what, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.